Cyclists

Cyclists in any big city are a nuisance to automobile drivers. Cyclists in LA are literally asking to die. 

Do you think we see you over there on the edge of the lane until we’re almost running you over? We do not! Especially not at night. It’s not safe for y’all to be out in these streets. There are no bike lanes anywhere! You want me to share the road with a vulnerable, exposed, sitting duck going a THIRD of the speed that my car is going?! Naw, fam.

Riding on the busy streets is SO SELFISH. You bring a two lane street down to one because we all have to switch over to the left in order to not make you roadkill, causing traffic to build up when I’m already late for work! If you ride on the side streets you’re also selfish as well as OBLIVIOUS to the RAGE you’re causing to the drivers behind you. We catch up to you, have to go six miles an hour, get stopped at a stop sign and fall a little bit behind, and then catch up to you again, over and over until we SCREAM. 

Even if there IS a bike lane, we still run the risk of closelining you while opening our car door once parked. Because we don’t check our mirrors before opening our doors? Because we shouldn’t have to? Why do you insist on making our lives so much harder? 

Oh you want to help the ENVIRONMENT? TAKE THE BUS! You want to get more EXERCISE? Get a PELOTON, bitch. You can’t drive/license got revoked/can’t afford a car payment? TAKE AN UBER. Or walk. Or, again, TAKE THE BUS.

Bicycles are made for activity and leisure, not for transportation. If you love to bike, move to the beach and get a beach cruiser for the boardwalk trails. But don’t be one of those assholes that’s constantly screaming, “ON YOUR LEFT!” and ringing their little bell. Like, calm down. 

Get off the road. Everyone hates you and you know it.

Published by loverlo

Actress, writer, lover. leskirvi@gmail.com

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