Did you know that the toilet seat in a public bathroom is probably cleaner than your toilet at home? Because it is bleached within an inch of its life at least once a day, unlike your filthy ass toilet which you probably clean once a week, AT MOST. So why tf are you squatting overContinue reading “Public Bathroom Etiquette”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Nepotism
An internal monologue I had while watching the critically acclaimed show, Narcos: Mexico… “Oh, who is this very plain looking white girl I’ve never seen with this big ass recurring guest star role on one of the best shows on Netflix? Let me IMDb her…” *While IMDb loads* “Please let me be surprised. Please letContinue reading “Nepotism”
PMS
I hate when I’m being a fucking bitch and a guy is like, “aRe YoU oN YoUr PeRiOd?” Um, no, the attitude comes BEFORE my period starts. Try to keep up, Kyle. Men will never understand PMS so long as they live. They never have and never will have to suffer through a week orContinue reading “PMS”
Cyclists
Cyclists in any big city are a nuisance to automobile drivers. Cyclists in LA are literally asking to die. Do you think we see you over there on the edge of the lane until we’re almost running you over? We do not! Especially not at night. It’s not safe for y’all to be out inContinue reading “Cyclists”
Raw Dogging
Men are such fucking babies about putting a thin piece of latex over that dangly appendage between their legs. “It’s too tiiiiiight,” they’ll whine at you while you’re busy still trying to digest the news about reproductive rights being taken away from women in this year of our Lord. You’re not that big, shutup. IfContinue reading “Raw Dogging”
Inflation
Who can afford to live well these days on this floating space rock?! In THIS economy? Anyone? Bueller? Prezzie Biden, Turtle McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Grandpa Bernie—can y’all please have a meeting of the geriatric minds and find a way to FIX this inflation situation? Y’all can’t keep raising these prices on us without paying usContinue reading “Inflation”
Toxic Love Advice
Everyone on social media is a relationship expert these days. I’ve even tried to sort of brand myself as one in the past because I was trying to market a book I had written about relationships. The truth is, none of us know SHIT. Why? Because people are fucking COMPLICATED. You can’t boil human behaviorContinue reading “Toxic Love Advice”
Headshots
There is nothing more excruciating for actors than getting headshots done. I’m sure the model slash actors of the world don’t mind them much but for actors who don’t regularly smolder and smize into a still camera lens we HATE IT. Because there is too much PRESSURE. Our headshots are our calling card, the thingContinue reading “Headshots”
Zodiac Signs Ranked From Worst to Best
aStRoLoGy iSn’T ReAl. yOu’Re So La. tHeRe iS nO ScIenCe tO bAcK tHiS uP. Shutup and just let me have this. There is a lot of nuance to everyone’s charts and houses and the various planets that they are ruled by and blah, blah, blah. I’ve already lost you, I know. Even I don’t getContinue reading “Zodiac Signs Ranked From Worst to Best”
App Dating
This ain’t it, y’all. This aaaaaaaain’t it. Online shopping for people to love like that’s a fucking normal thing to do?! What in the dystopian, Black Mirror, kind of society are we creating?! I know this isn’t, like, some new concept. But if you really stop and think about what we’re doing here, it’s incrediblyContinue reading “App Dating”
Why Don't You Bitch About It? 