You know how I know when someone is really into mushrooms? THEY NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT. This is how people used to be about weed until they realized that no one who wasn’t also high 24/7 or selling it gives a shit about hearing about it. You wanna do drugs? Have atContinue reading “Shroom People”
Tag Archives: funny
Famous Cheaters
This is probably not going to be about what you think it’s going to be about. I’m not going to go on a rant about cheaters themselves (plus, I already did that in my book, Find Me Somebody to Love, which you can buy on Amazon here LOLZ). This is about people who are soContinue reading “Famous Cheaters”
Narcs
When I was a little girl, I was a narc-y little snatch with my brothers because I was immature and vengeful and wanted to see my sibs in trouble. I would scream, “MOMMMMMuhhhhhh” anytime I was mistreated, called a name, slapped, kicked, or made fun of. Which was…a lot. As a fully grown human beingContinue reading “Narcs”
Corporate Mode
By Rachel Haberkern Working in a 9-5 environment (which is actually 8-6, let’s be honest) is often times comical. We have created an entirely new way to speak to each other which can only be described as aggressively passive. Anyone out there that says “oh, my work environment is great! We communicate well, get along,Continue reading “Corporate Mode”
Public Bathroom Etiquette
Did you know that the toilet seat in a public bathroom is probably cleaner than your toilet at home? Because it is bleached within an inch of its life at least once a day, unlike your filthy ass toilet which you probably clean once a week, AT MOST. So why tf are you squatting overContinue reading “Public Bathroom Etiquette”
Nepotism
An internal monologue I had while watching the critically acclaimed show, Narcos: Mexico… “Oh, who is this very plain looking white girl I’ve never seen with this big ass recurring guest star role on one of the best shows on Netflix? Let me IMDb her…” *While IMDb loads* “Please let me be surprised. Please letContinue reading “Nepotism”
PMS
I hate when I’m being a fucking bitch and a guy is like, “aRe YoU oN YoUr PeRiOd?” Um, no, the attitude comes BEFORE my period starts. Try to keep up, Kyle. Men will never understand PMS so long as they live. They never have and never will have to suffer through a week orContinue reading “PMS”
Cyclists
Cyclists in any big city are a nuisance to automobile drivers. Cyclists in LA are literally asking to die. Do you think we see you over there on the edge of the lane until we’re almost running you over? We do not! Especially not at night. It’s not safe for y’all to be out inContinue reading “Cyclists”
Raw Dogging
Men are such fucking babies about putting a thin piece of latex over that dangly appendage between their legs. “It’s too tiiiiiight,” they’ll whine at you while you’re busy still trying to digest the news about reproductive rights being taken away from women in this year of our Lord. You’re not that big, shutup. IfContinue reading “Raw Dogging”
Inflation
Who can afford to live well these days on this floating space rock?! In THIS economy? Anyone? Bueller? Prezzie Biden, Turtle McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Grandpa Bernie—can y’all please have a meeting of the geriatric minds and find a way to FIX this inflation situation? Y’all can’t keep raising these prices on us without paying usContinue reading “Inflation”
Why Don't You Bitch About It? 