Shroom People

You know how I know when someone is really into mushrooms? THEY NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.  This is how people used to be about weed until they realized that no one who wasn’t also high 24/7 or selling it gives a shit about hearing about it. You wanna do drugs? Have at

People Who Vape Indoors

The AUDACITY that people who chronically vape have I SWEAR will cause me to snap some day. Smoking your vape INSIDE? As if that smoke is not in ANY way bothering others in your direct vicinity and otherwise? And you KNOW very well that it’s against the law/rules and yet you do it anyway?? Way

Famous Cheaters

This is probably not going to be about what you think it’s going to be about. I’m not going to go on a rant about cheaters themselves (plus, I already did that in my book, Find Me Somebody to Love, which you can buy on Amazon here LOLZ). This is about people who are so

Narcs

When I was a little girl, I was a narc-y little snatch with my brothers because I was immature and vengeful and wanted to see my sibs in trouble. I would scream, “MOMMMMMuhhhhhh” anytime I was mistreated, called a name, slapped, kicked, or made fun of. Which was…a lot.  As a fully grown human being

Corporate Mode

By Rachel Haberkern Working in a 9-5 environment (which is actually 8-6, let’s be honest) is often times comical.  We have created an entirely new way to speak to each other which can only be described as aggressively passive.  Anyone out there that says “oh, my work environment is great! We communicate well, get along,

Bark-y Dogs

I am a highly sensitive person to loud noises in general—honking, sirens, a screaming child, a smoke alarm that I can’t disassemble. But the most offensive of all loud noises is a dog that just won’t SHUT THE FUCK UP and an owner who does FUCK ALL about it.  I LOVE dogs SO much. Big

Venmo

Venmo is arguably the greatest app in modern history. The backbone of our current society. A game changer for large, mixed company dinners, bar tabs, ride sharing, football pools, etc. etc. forever.  BUT it has its flaws, and they are FATAL.  The most offensive is that you won’t get the money transfer that you are

The Woke Police

I wish everyone could just shut the fuck up these days—says the girl with a blog who never stops complaining #hypocrite. Yo, at least I am AWARE that I am insufferably opinionated 75% of the time.  But seriously, everyone has way too much time on their hands and heavy-handed thoughts in their brain. I blame

Public Bathroom Etiquette

Did you know that the toilet seat in a public bathroom is probably cleaner than your toilet at home? Because it is bleached within an inch of its life at least once a day, unlike your filthy ass toilet which you probably clean once a week, AT MOST.  So why tf are you squatting over

Nepotism

An internal monologue I had while watching the critically acclaimed show, Narcos: Mexico… “Oh, who is this very plain looking white girl I’ve never seen with this big ass recurring guest star role on one of the best shows on Netflix? Let me IMDb her…” *While IMDb loads* “Please let me be surprised. Please let