PMS

I hate when I’m being a fucking bitch and a guy is like, “aRe YoU oN YoUr PeRiOd?” Um, no, the attitude comes BEFORE my period starts. Try to keep up, Kyle.  Men will never understand PMS so long as they live. They never have and never will have to suffer through a week or

Cyclists

Cyclists in any big city are a nuisance to automobile drivers. Cyclists in LA are literally asking to die.  Do you think we see you over there on the edge of the lane until we’re almost running you over? We do not! Especially not at night. It’s not safe for y’all to be out in

Raw Dogging

Men are such fucking babies about putting a thin piece of latex over that dangly appendage between their legs. “It’s too tiiiiiight,” they’ll whine at you while you’re busy still trying to digest the news about reproductive rights being taken away from women in this year of our Lord.  You’re not that big, shutup. If

Inflation

Who can afford to live well these days on this floating space rock?! In THIS economy? Anyone? Bueller?  Prezzie Biden, Turtle McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Grandpa Bernie—can y’all please have a meeting of the geriatric minds and find a way to FIX this inflation situation? Y’all can’t keep raising these prices on us without paying us

Toxic Love Advice

Everyone on social media is a relationship expert these days. I’ve even tried to sort of brand myself as one in the past because I was trying to market a book I had written about relationships. The truth is, none of us know SHIT. Why? Because people are fucking COMPLICATED. You can’t boil human behavior

Headshots

There is nothing more excruciating for actors than getting headshots done. I’m sure the model slash actors of the world don’t mind them much but for actors who don’t regularly smolder and smize into a still camera lens we HATE IT. Because there is too much PRESSURE. Our headshots are our calling card, the thing

Zodiac Signs Ranked From Worst to Best

aStRoLoGy iSn’T ReAl. yOu’Re So La. tHeRe iS nO ScIenCe tO bAcK tHiS uP.  Shutup and just let me have this.  There is a lot of nuance to everyone’s charts and houses and the various planets that they are ruled by and blah, blah, blah. I’ve already lost you, I know. Even I don’t get

App Dating

This ain’t it, y’all. This aaaaaaaain’t it. Online shopping for people to love like that’s a fucking normal thing to do?! What in the dystopian, Black Mirror, kind of society are we creating?! I know this isn’t, like, some new concept. But if you really stop and think about what we’re doing here, it’s incredibly

Hollywood And Highland

If you don’t live in LA and/or have never visited Hollywood and Highland (H&H) let me describe it for you… It’s the literal seventh ring of tourist hell. You have to duck and dodge through slow moving foreigners and screaming children under the heat of a thousand LA suns while aggressive men try to shove

Bad Drivers

Driving in LA is not for the faint of heart. I had a roommate once who moved back to Chicago after only one year in LA because she was a slow driver and she was tired of being honked at. (Obviously she moved back for other reasons too, but that was the nail in the