Inflation

Who can afford to live well these days on this floating space rock?! In THIS economy? Anyone? Bueller? 

Prezzie Biden, Turtle McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Grandpa Bernie—can y’all please have a meeting of the geriatric minds and find a way to FIX this inflation situation? Y’all can’t keep raising these prices on us without paying us more money!!! Even Snoop raised the wages for his BLUNT ROLLER so that he could survive out in these mutha fuckin’ streets! AND he probably gets paid in CASH so that clown doesn’t even pay taxes. (Although that news story went super viral on Twitter so I guess it’s likely that he no longer pays him under the table NOW.) This out of control, capitalistic society we’ve built is not sustainable for the average working sucker. 

Why is gas on La Cienega and Beverly fucking EIGHT dollars? I’m not paying $75 to fill up my tank! Are you insane?! I don’t even spend that on a new pair of jeans that I will wear for twenty years until they bust at the butt seam. Be REASONABLE.

My rent payment is just me lighting my money on fire every month, which is my punishment for living in a huge coastal city, which is my choice, but should my choice cost me almost half of what I make each month?! I have a good job AND several side hustles. I should not be living HAND to MOUTH when my parents had a whole ass house and five children that they could financially support by my age. Millennials should be able to afford rent, healthcare, and basic necessities too! 

In West Hollywood, a 4.5% charge is added to every check at restaurants to help pay for the kitchen staff. Because the restaurant owners are barely breaking even paying their own fucking rents! Even though at my establishment our drink prices go up a dollar every month. Even though our Clase Azul Reposado is $65 a shot. Even though our food is already overpriced. I can’t believe anyone can afford to eat there! Y’all are makin’ that GOOD good money if you are frequenting any establishment on or adjacent to Sunset Boulevard or Beverly Hills. Also, do any of you need a sugar baby? (Asking for me.)

Grocery store pricing is absolutely unacceptable. Y’all are going to force half of the neighborhood onto EBT cards. Why do we need to be making two hundred G’s a year in order to eat well?! The poors like to eat organic too, damn! But I can’t afford to spend five dollars on a tiny container of organic blueberries. Do I look like Elon Musk to you?! 

Look, I’m glad that fast fashion exists for the 99 percenters, but I’m tired of shopping at Shein. I deserve to wear dirty Balenciaga sneakers for $900 too! No but for real, I should be able to treat myself by investing in basic wardrobe staples that will LAST that don’t come from Forever 21. If I could afford to dress well, it would be OVER for you hoes. 

PAY. US. MORE. Send us another stimmy check just for surviving in this regressing society. Hell, get Andrew Yang into the White House to somehow figure out universal basic income. You think $16 an hour is enough to support ourselves in LOS ANGELES!? Retail, fast food, custodial, any type of job that doesn’t require a degree and/or citizenship should only be paying minimum wage, we get it. But that poor kid shouldn’t have to work two jobs and have three roommates just to live inside of a bustling city. “Well then move out of the city,” Republicans will tell you. “Get a better job,” they’ll say as if inflation wasn’t way less of a problem when they were early twenty-somethings. Even paying people $25 an hour is barely enough to scrape by in a rent controlled one bedroom apartment inhabited by a double income couple here. 

It’s all relative, I understand. Once we move up the ladder of corporate America we make more, we can afford more. But some jobs…don’t work that way. They also are trying to cut corners every fucking where these days because *checks notes* INFLATION. SAG productions are trying to pay actors peanuts for jobs that used to pay triple what they do now because new media loopholes exist even under union protection. They know that they can get hungry actors who just arrived off of the bus from Utah to work for that wage. But y’all, you get what you pay for. These green little musical theatre actors don’t know how to hit their mark or be subtle on camera. Just sayin’. 

Your capitalistic pyramid scheme is fucking CRUMBLING. Drop these fuckin’ prices, pay us what we are worth, and everyone can afford to live within their means.